Drift
by Nothing is Beautiful and True1
Summary: Life goes on. Slight Ryuki. T for mild language. One-shot.


_"Time was passing like a hand waving from a train I wanted to be on. _  
_I hope you never have to think about anything as much as I think about you."_

There was a hole where a part of Rika's heart had once been.

It was a peculiar injury.

Sometimes, for days at a time, she forgot it was there. Other times it was all she could think about, laying in her room in abject depression, listening to sad love songs.

_Pathetic. _Another time, another place, she would've sneered at the sight.

Rika was no longer that girl. Sometimes she mourned the loss of being able to not care. Or at least the ability to hide her cares from herself. Her grandmother and mother were both clearly worried. They'd taken her to a shrink at one point. Rika had tried to cooperate. The woman was kind and tried her best to understand. It didn't help.

They say time heals all wounds. Whoever 'they' were had never known loss. Eventually the pain would scab over, but the scar was there to stay. A painful reminder of what once was and would never be again.

"Rika?" Seiko's voice was low and soft. Every day she seemed a little older, a little frailer. She would be gone someday soon as well. Rika was doomed to drift through life alone.

"Hey." She sat up and turned off the radio. Seiko fondly stroked Rika's soft auburn hair. It was starting to get rather long. Rika was contemplating chopping it all off. It would fan the fire of the rumor mill at school, but Rika had long grown indifferent to the murmuring of petty teenage girls.

"You have a visitor. That nice Ryo boy." Seika smiled as Rika raised an eyebrow. "I like him a lot, you know. Even if he is a little old, and we don't see him a lot."

"You make it sound like he's in his thirties or something. Plus he always talks about how beautiful you are, of course you like him." Rika rolled her eyes and stood up. She plucked a hairband from her wrist and tied her hair into its traditional ponytail.

"He's a gentleman," Seiko countered with a smile, wrapping an arm around her granddaughter's shoulder. Rika leaned into the embrace briefly before pulling away. They walked through the quiet halls of the Nonaka Estate in companionable silence. Ryo stood at the entrance, hands behind his back, wearing that god awful red turtleneck sweater he loved so much.

"Long time no see," he said with an easy going smile. Rika shrugged.

"Same to you."

"How do you know I wasn't talking to the esteemed Madame Hata? Self-centered much, Wildcat?" Ryo's tone was light hearted and teasing, his smile morphing into a cocky grin.

"Oh my," Seiko said, flattered, as Rika snorted.

"In that case, you two go on a date and I'll take a nap." Rika affected a bored expression.

"Rika Nonaka!" Seiko's scandalized gasp got a laugh out of the two teenagers. She went back inside grumbling good-naturedly about 'impropriety' and 'kids these days'. Ryo stuffed his hands into his pockets and Rika stared at the ground. She never quite knew what to say beyond the gentle verbal sparring they engaged in when Ryo took it upon himself to visit Shinjuku.

"What's up?" she said. "It's not your birthday, is it?" Ryo got a hurt look and Rika felt like an idiot. "Oh, crap, it is? I…" Ryo's façade broke and he smirked. Rika saw, stopped, glowered, and then punched him in the shoulder. "You're such a jackass."

"Ow," he said carelessly. They walked over to the koi pond and sat down. Ryo fidgeted, his smile fading, and sighed. "I'm moving to America." It took a moment for the words to sink in. Rika's gaze dropped to the clear waters of the pond.

"Oh." She had no idea how to respond. She only saw Ryo a couple times a year, and although they'd always fallen into an easy camaraderie, the connection that had brought them together grew more tenuous with each passing season. Nevertheless Rika felt a pang as well as a sense of resignation. Another part of her life she held dear was leaving her, probably forever.

"I got accepted into a college in New York. Full ride and everything. Helps that I saved the world, but, you know. We can't all be filthy rich." Ryo looked like he regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. Rika ignored them; she'd come terms with the fact that she lived a very different lifestyle in comparison to the others awhile back.

"Good for you. Why are you telling me this?" Rika folded her arms and stared at her reflection. She felt so tired.

"I wanted to say goodbye. Already spoke with the others. Saved the best for last." He poked her side, causing Rika to irately swat his hand away. "Plus, I care about you. You know that." Rika flushed and ignored his cerulean gaze.

"Well, you told me. Having fun being mocked for your terrible Engrish," she sniped.

"It's not that bad," Ryo said defensively. Rika snorted and his expression became thoughtful. "When did you last speak with the others?"

"The anniversary." It was hard, going to a different school, living in a different part of the city, being fundamentally different people briefly united by an once-in-a-lifetime event. How Ryo managed to visit as often and consistently as he did, an island away, Rika had no idea. "The Matsuki's started making Calumon bread, last I heard."

"Now it's D-arcs. Edible Digivices. Ingenious." Ryo fell flat on his back, staring up at the sky, abruptly moody. "Takato and Jeri broke up."

"What?" Rika felt betrayed; there had been a time Jeri talked to her about everything. She hadn't even gotten a text. "Why?"

"Didn't say. Didn't ask." Ryo seemed sad. His dark blue eyes were lost in the past. Rika wrapped her arms around her knees.

"Do you ever miss him?" She'd never talked to Ryo about the Digimon. He didn't like discussing it with anyone. Strangely enough, he'd been the least affected of everyone by the events that transpired in wake of the D-reaper's defeat, and he'd known his partner the longest. But now that he was leaving… the curiosity was abrupt and insatiable. Ryo sighed.

"Of course I miss him. I loved Cyberdramon. I just – eh, never mind." Ryo shrugged. "It's stupid."

"Don't be such a pussy." Annoyed, Rika punched him in the stomach. "Tell me."

"Domestic abuse, much?" Ryo rolled away from the girl's backhand. "Chill out. Fine. Look, it's like this. I was this ten-year-old kid when I first got sucked into the Digital World. And I mean sucked in the sense that it was crap. That place…" He trailed off. "Let's just say, it's not a place for a ten-year-old. And then, when I was fifteen, living there for over a year? Actual hell." Ryo ran a hand through his soft brown hair. "I never wanted to be the "Legendary Tamer". It was something I couldn't escape. I didn't want to be the hero who saved the world again and again, sacrificing everything and getting nothing in return. I wanted, I still want, to get an education, find a job, fall in love, have kids. Cyberdramon… Cyberdramon would've made that impossible." Rika gaped, struggling to understand.

"What, you're happy to give up your partner to become a stay-at-home Dad?" she finally said, incredulous.

"I never said that." Ryo appeared pissed. Rika was wary; it took a lot to strike a nerve with the easy going young man. "It's hard to explain. My relationship with Cyberdramon… it was different from what any of you had. Except maybe Takato. It wasn't always happy. As much as I loved Cyberdramon, there were times I hated him, too. I was just a kid, Rika. I'm still a kid, in a way. And I was expected to control a massive out-of-control fighting machine." Ryo looked very old in that moment. Neither spoke for several long seconds.

"It's hard. Seeing how things have changed." Rika put a tentative hand of Ryo's shoulder. He relaxed into her touch.

"Yeah. I'll miss you, you know." The words were so simple, but Rika had to struggle to hold back an abrupt flood of tears.

"Do you have to leave?" she asked plaintively, disgusted with herself for sounding so weak. "It seems like everyone's leaving. Or has left. Or will leave. I hate it." She thought of her father and of Renamon. And now Ryo. And eventually Takato and Henry and Jeri and even those idiots, Kenta and Kazu.

"People come and people go," he said. Rika laughed bitterly.

"Did you steal that from a song?" She gazed at the sinking sun, purple eyes forlorn.

"Nobody's perfect." Ryo grinned and Rika felt both slightly better and a lot worse.

"Hey, you two! I made supper if you want some!" Seiko's voice drifted out to the garden. Ryo and Rika exchanged looks.

"Dibs." Ryo jumped to his feet. Rika slowly followed suit.

"Ryo. Wait." He turned to look at her expectantly. Rika hesitated, and then stretched on tip toes to kiss his cheek. It was rough with stubble and his skin smelled of aftershave. She allowed herself to feel regret for what had and hadn't been, and now would never be. Then Rika pulled away. Ryo studied her for a moment with eyes so dark they were almost black. Rika quelled a brief, familiar fluttering in the pit of her stomach.

"Let's go," he said, holding out his hand. She took it, letting him tug her toward the house.

"Okay." Rika's heart ached with a new wound.

_"So many people enter and leave your life! Hundreds of thousands of people! You have to keep the door open so they can come in! But it also means you have to let them go!" _


End file.
